Almost 50 +

What is the dream? What do I want to do in life, is there more? What's next? Is there? What's the future to bring? Is there more to life? I can't decide. What the grand scheme, where do you go from here. Is this all there is? Tell me we all haven't thought of that once or twice. It not that I am not happy but did I expect more by now? Can I really say this is where I wanted to be at this point in my life? Where did all these questions come from all of sudden. Its not as if it hit me suddenly I just sat down and I wonder out loud, well sort of, here on my blog. Can this be it? I got to figure this all out or maybe not, maybe its just suppose to just happen and it will all  fall into place. But what if it has and I passed it by or I let it go. I am so confused! Who are my real friends? Can I trust them?  Maybe something is missing in my life or maybe I am searching too hard. I need to rest. Rest my mind, my heart. Just be... be me.