Almost 50 +

 I was thinking about my past...my childhood, my first marriage. I was married young, 18 years old to be exact, to Steven Callahan. I had my first born, my son, Daniel at 19 years young. My daughter, Samantha, came 4 years later. People that knew us then, were pretty sure we wouldn't make it, our marriage, I mean. But we were married 19 years before Steven was killed in a horrible accident. an event that changed the course of my life. I cannot describe to you what it felt like to be widowed at such a young age. Just losing someone is difficult enough, but to wake up one morning, go through your day as you alway have, and in a blink of an eye, it all changed. I won't go into details, but I look back at that part of my life and if you'd of asked me 17 years ago, if I could of survived such an ordeal, knowing all that I know now, I would of said, "NO way." But I did. You want to know how? Faith, love of family and friends. Oh but the ordeals we went through as a family. Its indescribable. If I can help ANY widow or widower that goes through this at such a young age, I would say first and foremost- think of your child or children FIRST.  I know, easy advice, obviously-right? But its so easy to say, unless you experience it there is no easy way to say how you think all is going to just "right" itself with time. It doesn't, its a struggle, its painful, but you can get through. I am ashamed to admit it, but I tried to buy happiness. Yes, its reality, I know I did it. My mother, God rest her soul, said it was my youth, not knowing how to handle all the pressures, the finances. But still, what a mistake. I would change so much if I could go back... of course, it not happening in the first place. I just want people to know, its important! Your kids happiness FIRST. Their future-FIRST.